Baby, oh Baby?

Rosie Roessler is a mother of 3 and loving wife. She currently works full-time in the property management field and in her spare time she coordinates the South Broward YOPD support group and works on making lasting memories for her family. She lives by the motto “Not every day is perfect, but there are perfect moments in every day.” Rosie also runs a support group on Facebook for YOPD caregivers; email her if you would like to join it.

As caregivers we all know our tasks: clean the house, do the dishes (because one too many have been dropped by our “PD loves”) get the kids dressed, get the kids to sleep, cook the meals, help cut the meats, help our “PD loves” up, help them down, help them get dressed, fold the clothes (because what I can do in 15 minutes takes him 6 hours), help with homework, help them shave (shaky hands cause big scrapes) and, for us young onset caregivers, go to work full time and in some spare time try our best to take care of ourselves. So why would any sane person even entertain the idea of adding to the crazy by bringing in a new bundle of baby?

Well, to tell you the truth, I don’t know. For me largely it’s to build a family that will be there beyond the years. So when I am older I will still have my children to surround myself with. A happy for later, if you will. I also so badly don’t want to give Parkinson’s that power over my life. How dare this disease decide something so profound for me? All my life, all I wanted was to be a mom (and I am, I have 3 beautiful, amazing boys that I know I am so fortunate to have as others would love just to have that). I’ve always wanted 4-6 children and ALWAYS thought a girl would surely be in the mix. So far I have been wrong. And that’s ok. When Roger was diagnosed, our children were 9, 4 and 2 (now 13, 8, and 6). It took so much time coming to terms with our new normal that babies didn’t cross my mind until about a year and half ago. Since then it has been an ongoing battle within myself. I have probably talked myself into and talked myself out of adding to our family 1,000 times at least. (For those of you wondering, Roger is perfectly happy with our family as is but has said if I want more he will give me one more sweet baby)

So what is right? Logically, having a baby adds more stress (as it would in any family). Do I need this stress? No. Do I want to be pushed to my limit daily? No. Day care expenses since Roger cannot care for a newborn baby while I work, sleepless nights and working 40-45 hours a week, raising the three we have, it all seems overwhelming. Yet this longing inside, this incompleteness still lingers. The sweet smells of baby, the tiny little hands and toes, this perfectly made person that has Roger’s nose. I just can’t stop wondering, wanting, needing.

Our little bundle that doesn’t even exist has a name whether a boy or a girl, and yet it all seems so irrational. How do I come to peace within myself no matter what the decision is? How do I come to a decision?

Parkinson’s has changed our life in so many ways. Do I let it change this as well? Do I admit to defeat in this battle? I’m really not sure. I’m not waving my white flag just yet, but it is waiting at half-mast.

Posted: 8/7/2014 11:28:35 AM by Cathy Whitlock

Browse current and archived blog articles written by caregivers, for caregivers.

May 2015
Part 2: Tips for Parkinson's Caregivers to help improve quality of life

April 2015
Tips for Parkinson's Caregivers to help improve quality of life.

December 2014
Keeping Watch

November 2014
Resources for People Who Care for Someone with Parkinson’s

September 2014
I Don't Like Parkinson's, but I Love the People in My Life

August 2014
Baby, oh Baby?

July 2014
When the Caregiver Takes a Break

May 2014
Arriving at Thriving

March 2014
Adult Swim

February 2014
5 Disability Insurance Issues Worth Talking About

December 2013
DBS: How it changed darkness into light

November 2013
Family Caregivers Deserve Special Recognition

September 2013
Saving $49,500 for a Good Night’s Sleep

August 2013
Growing Up with Parkinson’s

July 2013

June 2013
I Wish I May, I Wish I Might

April 2013
5 Grab-and-Go Healthy Snacks for Parkinson's Caregivers

March 2013
5 Caregiving Tips for Lewy Body Dementia

January 2013
Lewy What?

November 2012
How to Support a Caregiving Spouse: Three Tips from My Other Caregiving Half

October 2012
Bobcats and Turtles

August 2012
Build a Ramp

July 2012
A Bathroom That Works

June 2012
Lessons in Care, Lessons in Time

May 2012
Welcome to CareZone

April 2012
Dignity and Empathy in Caregiving

March 2012
Notes from "Movers & Shakers with Parkinson": How You See Your Changing Roles

February 2012
PD Inpatient "Care": Inept, Indifferent, Incompetent, Insufficient, Injurious

January 2012
Caregiver Isolation as Cultural Disease

November 2011
How to Take Care of the Caregiver

September 2011
The Disregarded Costs of Agency Care

August 2011
7 Tips for Hiring Good Caregivers

July 2011
Parkinson's and Your Voice: The Essence of You

June 2011
7 Ways a Care Recipient Can Help Alleviate Caregiver Burnout

May 2011
Lessons Learned About Caregiving for a Person with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's Disease

April 2011
Communicating With Your Partner When Speech and Voice Are Declining

March 2011
Long Distance Caregiving

February 2011
Financial Planning Webinar for Caregivers

January 2011
Caregiving Tool: A Home Healthcare Management System

December 2010
Caregiver Sanity: Three Things I Try to Remember

November 2010
Appreciating Family Caregivers

May 2010
Good Body Mechanics for Caregivers by Kevin Lockette, PT

March 2010
Taking the First Step in Your Own Care by Carol Levine

Currently: 0 (0 ratings)


Each month, we will feature a new column by caregivers on topic important for caregivers of people with Parkinson's disease. Read the latest column now.

Subscribe to this blog